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Clean Jokes : Group 1


#1.........."THE WHITE BUNNY RABBIT"

You, and 2 of your friends got killed and were sent to heaven, where there was only one rule. You could not ever step on the white bunny rabbit. So, you and 1 of your friends are walking along and see your other friend making out with this really ugly person! The 2 of you ask your friend why he/she is making out with this ugly person. The friend says,
"I stepped on the white bunny rabbit".

Then later, you and your friend that had stepped on the white bunny rabbit were walking along and saw your other friend making out with an even wrost looking person!! The 2 of you ask your friend why he/she is making out with this ugly person. The friend says,
"I stepped on the white bunny rabbit"

Now, the 2 friends who stepped on the white bunny rabbit are walking and see YOU making out with this beautiful model! The 2 friends ask you how you managed to get her/him. The model then turned around and says,
"I stepped on the white bunny rabbit"


#2..........."NUDE NUNS"

3 nuns were assigned to paint a room in a church. It was a really hot day and the nuns were getting really hot in those black clothes they wear so they took off all their clothes and went on painting naked. Later they heard a knock on the door....
"Who is it?????",
The man who knocked replied, "I'm the blind man".
So, the nuns decided to let him in since he would not be able to see them. The nuns let him into the room.... The man then looked around the room, then looked at them and said,
"Nice t*ts sisters, where do you want the blinds??"


#3..........."Jesus Is Watching You"

One night a burglar is trying to break into a house. He's sneaking across the lawn when he hears a voice -
"Jesus is watching you!"
He jumps, turns around, but he doesn't see anything. So he starts creeping across the lawn again. "Jesus is watching you!"
He hears it again. So now the burglar is really looking around, and he sees a parrot in a cage by the side of the house. He says to the parrot,
"Did you say that?"
The parrot answers "Yes I did."
So the burglar says , "What's your name?"
The parrot says "Clarence." The burglar says "What kind of stupid idiot would name his parrot Clarence?"
The parrot laughs and says,
"The same stupid idiot that named his Rottweiler 'Jesus' "


#4.........."Deductive Reasoning"

This guy, John, is entering college, so he has to talk to his councelor about some things. The counselor is telling him that he must take 5 hours of English, 5 hours of Math, and that he also gets to take 2 hours of an elective. John asks, "what electives do you offer?" The councelor says, "Well, we have an opening in our deductive reasoning class." John then asked what deductive reasoning was, and the councelor replies,
"For example, do you have a dog?"
"Yes."
"From that I can deduce that you live in a fenced in yard."
"yes."
"From that I can draw that you're married."
"Yes."
"From that I can draw that you're a heterosexual."
"Oh, hell ya," says John, "Deductive Reasoning sounds good."

So John walks out of the councelor's office where he sees his friend Bruno. Bruno says,
"Hey John, what classes are you in?"
"Hey, I got into this cool deductive reasoning class," replied John.
"What's deductive reasoning?" asked Bruno.
"For example, do you have a dog?"
"No."
"Get out of here you gay.......!"


5........"Spell A Word To Get Into Heaven"

Guy goes to the gates of heaven where he meets St. Peter. St. Peter says to him "God has looked at your book of life and you are welcome in heaven under one condition"
The man says "What's that?"
She says that on the way home from the funeral, there was an accident and she died. The husband says alright, but you do have to spell one word first before you come in to heaven.
She asks "What's that?"
He says "Spell Czechoslovakia"


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