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Evil Jokes : Group 1

1...........(Everytime a fly drops..........)
There was a fly flying 6 inches above a lake.
A fish in the lake thinks,
"If that fy dropped 6 inches I'd get it!!!"
A bear on land thinks,
"If that fly dropped 6 inches, the fish would jump out of the water, and I'd get it!"
A hunter thinks,
"If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear will go to get the fish, and I'll shoot the bear"
A mouse thinks,
"If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear would go to get the fish, the hunter will go to get the bear, and I'll steal the cheese off his sandwich!"
A cat thinks,
"If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear would go to get the fish, the hunter will go to get the bear, the mouse will go get the cheese, and I'll get that mouse!!!"

Suddenly it all happened,
The fly dropped 6 inches, the fish got the fly, the bear get the fish, the hunter got the bear, the mouse got the hunter's cheese, but the cat missed the mouse and fell in the water!!!!!

The Moral Of This Story Is..................
"Everytime time a fly drops 6 inches, a pu$$y gets wet!!!"

2................(Only I have this!)
An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can't resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says,
"See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a football!". The little girl runs into the house and cries to her mother,
"I want a football!" Being a woman of the 90's, her mother runs out and gets her one. The next day the girl is waiting for the little boy and he rides up on his bike. She holds up the football,
"Nah Na Nah Nah". The little boy angryly points to his bike and says,
"Oh yeah, well this is a boys bike and only boys get boys bikes and you can't have one!" She runs in to mom and the next day is waiting for him on her new boys bike. The little boy gets furious and pulls down his pants, and pointing to his most private of parts says,
"Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!!!". The next day he walks by and asks her,
"Well, I guess I showed you!" to which she promptly pulls up her dress, points to her parts and proclaims "My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these I can have as many of THOSE as I want!

3............(Doggy Style)
There were women waiting in a doctor's office. They started talking and one women said,
"I'm going to have a girl because I was on the bottom last time and I had a girl. I was on the bottom again this time so I'm going to have another girl." One of the other ladies said,
"I'm going to have a boy, I was on the top." The last lady started to cry. The two other ladies asked,
"Why are you crying?" She replied,
"I'm going to have puppies!!!"

4.....................(2 Italian Men Talking)
A bus stops and two obviously Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I pee twice. Then I come once more."
"You foul-mouthed wop swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, cool down lady," said the man. "I was only tellin' my friend here how to spell Mississippi."

5............ ..(The Snowblower)
Q: Why did the snowman pull down his pants?
A: Because he saw the snowblower coming!

That's It!!! Hope you enjoyed them!

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